My mom is in her 70s and she is always saying, “I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.” Maybe you can relate. Well, here I am in my late 30s, also still trying to figure it all out. I have heard it said that “It is about the journey, not the destination.” Did I tell you’ll that I love quotes? Yeah, as a writer I know “originality” is key. However, I am a sucker for a good quote. And if it is worth repeating I like to write it down and share it with others! Quotes are awesome treasures of their own after all!
Anyway, I believe the point of the quote is that it is perfectly okay to NOT have it all figured out. After all, how boring our lives would be if we had everything figured out, right? My plans can change on a regular basis. For example, I wasn’t planning to actually write a new page today. But when I am inspired and have the time and ability to do so then that is when I do some of my best work!
Flexibility is a Great Skill to Have!
Right now I am at my local library as I write. I was planning on reviewing some of the pages I have already put out on this website when inspiration hit that I should maybe just write a page about career choices and paths. I just love to write so here I am, writing away! I have tried so many paths in life and many of them just didn’t seem to pan out. But as Thomas Edison once said, “I have not failed. I just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” As for myself, I don’t know if I managed to mess up 10,000 ways in life. Ok, who am kidding? It has probably been much more. Just not all geared towards a career path, thankfully.
Although I have known for a long time that I could write, I haven’t until recently considered that I could truly use this skill to actually make a living. Growing up I genuinely believed that I not only wanted to be a wife and mother but also have a “job outside of the house.” But it took me a long time to even come close to being satisfied with my life. And if I am being honest, I am still not truly satisfied. I want more. And I do deserve it. But isn’t that what life is about, striving to be better and better?
So what took Me So Long? And Am I Still Deciding What I Want to Be When I “Grow UP.”
Growing up I decided when I was in the first grade that I wanted to be an author. Of course, we didn’t have “blogging” on the regular back then. Nor did we find unlimited spaces with wifi resources. The Internet in all its glory was still relatively new. But my first grade teacher gave us assignments to write stories. And I was a natural. Well, for a first grader that is. I looked back at some of my “scary” stories here not to long ago, and they sure are cheesy. But then I reminded myself that I wrote those when I was in the FIRST grade!
I wanted to either be an author back then or a a school teacher. My dad is a good man and a hard worker. But he told me that I probably wouldn’t make much of a living being a writer. Now, don’t get “your panties in a bunch here, people.” He didn’t say it an abusive tone at all. And he wasn’t at all mean or degrading. He was just being realistic and speaking from his own knowledge and experience. My dad didn’t tell me to stop writing. He simply wanted to be sure I had career goal in mind that would pay my bills later in life. Of course, just like me, neither of my parents knew what that was or what I should be when “I grew up” either.
Changing My Mind Multiple Times About What I Want to Be When I “Grow Up.”
How many of you in all honesty are now working at your “dream job?” Come on, be truthful here! In first grade I had no idea what being a teacher or a writer all entailed. But I thought “ok, author, maybe,” but I did decide that shouldn’t be my main “job” goal. I am using the word “job,” because in the first grade I had no idea what the word “career” meant. I just assumed people got a “job” when they were older. And for most of the people I grew up around that was it. The adults around me did NOT have careers. They had jobs. And those jobs provided the income that bought groceries and paid their bills.
By the time I was in the second grade school become more challenging. Becoming a teacher didn’t seem so appealing anymore. My brother and I grew up out in the country in the Northern part of the Midwestern United States. And we had a lot of outdoor cats running around. I absolutely love animals. I still do today! So I thought maybe I should become a veterinarian. I think I will save the reasons why I didn’t do that for another time. But, needless to say, by the time I graduated from High School neither becoming a teacher nor a veterinarian was something I intended to pursue any longer.
Into the Field of Psychology
Off to college I went. Although it would be a lie to say I regret going to college, I do have some bitterness (but I am working on that) that I am in debt up the waazooo due to my college degree. And believe me I earned that degree. Growing up I witnessed and experienced first hand what it was like to to live with someone who has mental illnesses. It was from these experiences that I decided I should major in Psychology. I even genuinely believed that was where God was calling me to for what to be when I “grow up.”
Three years later I learned many things in my Applied Psychology class. One of the things that still shocks me to this day is how little mental health counselors and psychologists actually earn financially. Now don’t get me wrong. I always wanted to have a job that I enjoyed where I made a difference in the lives of others. And back then I still didn’t believe that making money was my primary motivation on my career path; however, I still could NOT believe how lousy the pay was “on average.”
The Shock of the Low Pay and Fear That Held Me Back
I haven’t researched this recently so hopefully it has went up just a tad, but back then I learned that Psychologists “on average” (at least in the state I lived and went to college in) started out only making like around $30,000.00 to $40,000 per year. I remember thinking, “that’s what my dad makes working at a hardware distributing company with nothing but a high school diploma.”
So I was like “What?!” But that alone didn’t deter me. I found out that I not only I would need do go through at least two more years of college, if NOT more. But I would have to pass a $500.00 test in order to get my license. Yes, I admit, I look back now and realize that the fear of failure had a huge influence on my decision NOT to go on and get a Master’s degree. Anyway, teachers and school counselors from my High School had told me that it was having the college degree that was important in order to get a good paying job. I think most of these adults had good intentions, but I found out that things are ALOT more complex when it comes to real world careers.
Finding Out What I really Want
I could share so much more of my journey in between my college degree and here. But I am going to save the rest for another time because I am already getting wordy here. It took me a while to admit to myself that I don’t only want a career that I enjoy, but that I actually want to get paid well as well.
I was taught over and over to growing up to “be humble,” especially at church. And for a long time I believed that meant I was always supposed to be humble and in the background. I mean I really took it to heart that Jesus said “Place yourself at the lowest place so that when your host comes and tells you to move up….you will be honored.” (Bible Luke 14:10). But here is the problem, that is only one of the many lessons by Jesus. Now, I am going to go after the life I deserve. Maybe you can relate because we all deserve to win in life, not just a select few.
